Mind:
Body:
Soul:
<One eyebrow raised /> I am approaching a three year hiatus on penning in-depth reflections.
Throughout these 3 near-complete revolutions around the sun, self-development notes and an eclectic mix of nonfiction titles of the physical1 sort taunt the habit of committing thoughts to a written medium. All readings conclude that a purpose-driven life is defined by meaningful engagement and growth of the mind, body, and soul. Not just one facet, but all facets need attention, learning, practice, decisions, and other deliberate investments to promote meaningful engagement and growth. I want to curate a collection of my musings to give evidence to my personal development in all these facets. I want to release these poor phoenixes from the burning landfills of doubts, aggravations, and other self-defeating attitudes and actions that preclude meaningful engagement and growth.
Man, flowery prose.
My goal in one sentence: I bring clarity to my thoughts and practice eloquent brevity with a published musing every Wednesday.
This series of musings also helps to reinforce that I am an energetic problem-solver that finds the means to creatively enrich the lives of others. These verbal exercises help me further refine thoughts on what is my life purpose. Hey, if an Oprah-endorsed assessment confirms that my mode of deriving satisfaction is rooted in spontaneity, knowledge, and creativity, I must have hit the bullseye in defining my purpose. Jokes aside, the purpose statement that resonated with me throughout 2017 is: "Use my gift of creating to support the understanding and appreciation of aerospace developments in a way that aligns with living a life rich in experiences, loved ones, and artistic, boundless expression." I want to see if this purpose will still resonate with me over time as I continue to learn and maintain my optimal mind, body, and soul.
I no longer dwell on (mis)adventures. An adventure should only be labeled as an adventure. There is no need to draw deep attention to events that trigger a spiral of negative self-talk.
I'm starting this verbal adventure on my grandfather's first birthday since his death this past year. This adventure in grief was not explored with coherent language. I dawdled through the majority of 2017 feeling helpless, angry, lost, selfish, and rather useless. I felt a significant part of my vitality vanished with grandpa's mortal remains. I felt other circumstances compounded this listless existence. I tried to be supportive of my husband's family while my father-in-law continues his fantastic recovery from his stroke last year. A lot of loved ones near and far were also facing personal challenges. The Gulf Coast is still healing from Harvey's destruction. I didn't want to admit the fact that my emotional struggle is a shared human experience. I'm a resilient snowflake, dangnabit.
No, I just didn't know how to articulate the thoughts and feelings swirling in the midst of confusing circumstances. A lot of family relations were frayed when grandpa passed. There's always the annoying discourse of inheritance. I didn't care to inherit any material possessions from grandpa. Relatives thought I would receive a hefty amount because I was the closest to grandpa and spent the most time with him compared to all the grandchildren. Not at all. I inherited something better from grandpa. I inherited a lifetime of priceless intangibles. He instilled a relentless pursuit of expression and a strong desire to share life's abundance with other.
Grandpa's excursions into expression included reading, writing, and supporting the performance arts.
Grandpa read voraciously. His reading habits are equivalent to most folks' daily Netflix binge-watching sessions. He would read 12+ martial arts fiction books within 2 weeks. My mother didn't care to read that much, but she supported the cultivation of my reading habit by taking me to the library often (i.e. at least once a week because it was free entertainment and that meant air conditioning). Reading helps with my mental development by bringing exposure to new thoughts and provide opportunities to reflect and apply information. I'm glad I joined a book club. Folks introduced me to different genres of fiction that typically gets overlooked from my strong proclivity to reach for a nonfiction title. I'm also grateful for my brother-in-law's gift of a 2018 calendar featuring Mensa-approved puzzles. I like to believe that I have the mental capacity to solve these daily puzzles that tests my reading comprehension (The directions to solve the puzzles require patience and attention to details). While I was previewing the variety of mental prompts, I gave up too soon on the anagram exercise for January 1st. What a beautiful daily practice in patience. The answers are readily available, but I won't learn if I don't struggle in finding the solution.
Although I didn't cultivate the desire or discipline to write in Chinese as a child, I can tell grandpa crafted complex thoughts codified in simplified Chinese text on old sheets of calendar paper. My K-12 dialectical journal entries were very long-winded. I wanted to arrive at so many truths, but wanted to express so many details within the confines of those college-ruled sheets. I was annoyed with wide-ruled sheets. I wanted to cram so much self-expression onto a page. Wide-rule made my compact penmanship look insignificant. The white space between lines was intimidating. I wanted to challenge thoughts with a wall of my own interpretive text. The white space provided a visual challenge of whether my words can stand against uncomfortable silence. Although, I'm slowly acquiescing to the majority stance that succinct expression is a highly coveted art that is framed by beautiful typography and enough white space to let the eyes rest.
Grandpa attended many performance arts engagements in Chinatown. He played the violin. He hummed many tunes on the harmonica. He also enjoyed performances inside a WWE ring or a high-energy, athletic soccer match on Telemundo or Univision. Grandpa enjoyed movement. He immensely loved and was able to walk well into his early 90s. There is a meditative quality to well-rehearsed choreographed movements. Walking at a set interval is like executing a choreography of mindfulness. For this reason, I appreciate the walking meditation exercise in the Headspace app. I struggled with completing some Headspace packs. The current one I've wrestled with is the "Pain Management" pack because I am too stubborn to let the thoughts flow and acknowledge the common humanity of the emotional and physical pain. I've started the Headspace journey in 2015; the journey is still on-going. I still have the sports packs to discover. Although I'm not active in team athletics, I'm sure the meditative practice would bring me closer in developing a deeper appreciation for the arts expressed in calculated movements.
Throughout the year, I stunted my mental and physical development by feeding into my workaholic tendencies to try and regain a false sense of control. I felt that if had control over anything it would be my work. Nope. My work controlled me. I got more sedentary and missed out or was late to recreational activities. I was wringing out some extra effort in trying to get some work task accomplished. That is not sustainable. I am definitely feeling beyond burnt out - I'm feeling extra broiled. I need to work on saying "No" to 8+ hour work days to regain that steady progress in developing the best me in mind, body, and soul.
Taking this week off for the Christmas holiday is slowly mitigating that imbalance. Prancing around with some classic circa 2000 Denise Austin and Leslie Sansone routines got me reacquainted with the natural effervescence of energy in my gait and my gestures while engaging in conversation. For the longest time, I pegged Denise Austin as a bubbly instructor with no substance to her routines. I was just in denial of how much our energy levels matched and the intonation in our voices were just too similar (I'm sure she can easily pick up Toisan). Girl, I was wrong. Her 10-minute routines provide good jolts of energy at any time of the day. Leslie Sansone, on the other hand, is just a reliable source of getting me to move some when I'm very demotivated and know that I need to combat the sedentary state of affairs. I haven't committed to checking out the newer videos with her new cadre of instructors, but her earlier routines are still relevant to me today. To whet my "variety is the best spice of life" attitude towards working out, I've been trying other routines. My fascination with learning Bollywood dance led me to Natya Aerobics. This dance company pushed out cardio videos that were less than 10 minutes. That piqued my interest because I'm always complaining about my time management skills and my ill-conceived notions of what my priorities are. I also decided to give yoga a chance. I've always complained that I had no patience for yoga. Really, it's just me not being well versed in the flow of the activity. I finished up Day 2 of the 7 Days of Yoga Challenge with Sara Beth Yoga. It has been relaxing, but I'm still a little skeptical. I'm feeling sore in places and wondering if it's muscle strain. When I tried Jessica Smith's Yoga Stretch, I felt a gentle calm of relaxation and felt more reassured of the practice. I'm going to see this 7 day challenge through to say I've gave it a concerted try.
Sharing life's abundance with others will contribute to the development of my soul. The start of 2018 signals a deluge of STEM outreach opportunities to coincide with the celebration of e-Week in early February. I'm excited at the prospect of helping younger generations develop an appreciation for the wide applications of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics that enrich their lives. Not only is life abundant in self-discovery, but it is abundant in opportunities to secure your basic necessities. My own food adventures are not frivolous expenses. They help me connect with loved ones and dear friends. These experiences provide an intimate shared moment to reflect on how enriching and varied our lives are from a major source of sustenance. Enlightening conversations about our society and culture become a centerpiece at these gatherings. Often, I can provide random nuggets of cultural trivia for my love of what was considered "Oldies" during my childhood. Billy Stewart's rendition of "Summertime" was not heard by some of my friends. Listening to Billy Stewart blankets my psyche with comforting nostalgia. The variety and availability of food in Houston also tells an interesting cultural story. How can there be so many self-proclaimed foodies in the greater Houston area while there are so many families still struggling to provide a basic necessity for their family within the same county lines? I'm hoping to volunteer more often at the Food Bank and other health awareness events, too, to engage more in the community and share the great fortune of access to food.
Galveston's food and libations scene is making a true comeback after years of post-Ike reconstruction. Houston has been getting all the attention, but Galveston has plenty to offer. Gypsy Joynt has an extensive menu that guarantees many future returns. The jumbo wings were a jaw-dropping delight. I could've been satisfied with that as my sole portion of comestibles that evening. Overlooking the juvenile humor of "The PMS and a Blue Ball," I was beyond content with the pimple-inducing feast from the surge of sweet and savory sensations. Although I didn't partake in the namesake - a daiquiri - I was enamored with DTO Galveston's winter cocktail menu. Coquito was coquettish with my taste buds; it used Fat Cat Creamery's cream, after all.
I love my husband for taking dates seriously and for respecting my desire for soul-searching adventures through dining. We enjoyed multiple courses of unique offerings at Nancy's Hustle. I became smitten with the trout roe on the Nancy Cakes. The rabbit course made me smile and wonder why isn't this a more commonly available dish? Why is "gamey" protein still taboo? Why is it undesirable at some families' table? Anyways, there is always a hidden treasure for everybody to enjoy at a good restaurant. We like to go back to Brasserie 1895 in Friendswood for that very reason. The menu rotates pretty often to provide opportunities to uncover a hidden gem in an unexpected source of protein or vegetable. The elk chop with the poached pear, brussel sprout, potato pancake, and braised cabbage was a joyous union on a plate. Prior to this dining adventure, I've only had elk in a burger. My husband was telling me about how Joe Rogan extols the nutritional value of elk. I knew I had to try elk that was served in a different manner to truly appreciate it.
I'm ready to hunt and dissect other adventures in mind, body, and soul. Here I come, 2018.
1I hardly ever digest a digital book due to eye strain and other motivational hindrances. I maintain a romantic notion that it is more enjoyable to dive into a physical volume. The additional effort to turn the page provides a more engrossing experience. It is almost an exercise in delayed gratification to bring that much more satisfaction in seeing the conclusion of the author(s)' thoughts.
Tegan Bennett Daylight, an Australian professor at a university, articulates this need to read a book thoroughly to harness the power of language to frame our experiences best: "I want them to discover that if they learn to handle language they'll no longer be helpless, drowning in sugary gratification." Feel the pages whisper to your neural synapses of a particular emotion, sense, or thought elicited from page 32. The crumbs of a baked good that got stuck between pages activates some olfactory memory connected to that passage. Scrolling to get to the next block of text feels like engaging in a social media addiction to mindlessly seek experiences that brings instant gratification.
Also, a digital bookmark doesn't seem to have the same intensity in recalling these other emotional, sensory, and subjective aspects of your reading experience and actually initiates a dizzying dance of thoughts. Digital bookmarks feel more like a laundry list of unorganized Pocket clippings that are you are saving for a rainy day or a clutch to fill the discomfort of boredom (a.k.a lack of active engagement of the mind). Boy, do I need to start whittling down my Pocket list. It is overwhelming to see so many topics that pique my interest, but not investing the time to gain expertise in them. It really only takes a couple of minutes each day to digest the information with intentional attention. See, this is why I struggle with digital reads. I get overwhelmed with the decision-making of what topic to pursue. With a single physical book, a single collection of thoughts has been laid out to set my intention to and to delve into.
